Nope, not dead yet… just feeling like it! LOL

Long stories… where to start…

Well, I wound up in the hospital. I picked up a nasty strain of a stomach virus and after three days praying to porcelain pete and driving the toilet buss, I had to be rushed to the ER.

Now I thought it was maybe the med withdrawal… I was feeling ill so I didn’t take them, but nope. Some diseased person shared their joy.. the gift that keeps on giving… grumble.

And the ER was an adventure. I had my friend Latrisha  Lee drive me in the middle of the night. Vertigo is no joke really when paired with nausea and an overwhelming urge to see what my insides look like… I was not a very stable camper. But I got triaged and it only took the nice male RN one time to get the vein. He tapped it like a pro. I was impressed. Then it was back to the waiting room where I ran into a young fan. Seriously, her name was Ashley and she wanted to be a writer too. Like me she has ADHD and some learning disabilities. She talks more than me and you know that is hard to do. LOL But we chatted. Trish translating my grunts and groans, and she got my autograph which she swore to keep forever… I have no idea what I wrote on that piece of paper, but she was hugging it hard.  They called me back and I was grateful for my earlier shower and the surprise matching undies… seriously, I hit the jackpot by putting on the first clean foundation out of the drawer and they matched… Score one more for team lucking-out! LOL I still have no idea why that amuses me so much… Oh well.

Long story short… I know, too late… Virus. I was so dehydrated that they could not get a vein to tap for an IV… Had to try both arms before there was success. And let me tell you, I got stories about that hospital visit from the kid next to me in treatment room 14… I was in 13 (I am telling you this for a reason) who’s parents freaked out over his shaking… come to find out he was higher than a kite and fell asleep during the parental lecture given with some serious anger.

Then i started to tell jokes to my new male RN Jim… he was a dear heart and I wanted his earrings. But I digress. For no reason the IV machine came on and spooked my female tech. It was brand new, in wrapped plastic no less, and she started telling us tales of how this hall seemed to be haunted. I giggled but then after I got my bag of iv fluids and some anti-nausea meds, the sink came on… by itself. Made poor Trish jump and we giggled again. Then there was some church music going on somewhere and a creepy janitor, and then the blood pressure machine came on by itself. When we told my female tech, she was ready to beat feet out of the hospital and not return… and I found that laugh worthy. Did great for our spirits, but not so good for the migraine. After 5 hours, and much begging cause Trish decided that the breakfast buffet was not up to her standards in the hospital, we were let go after another direct shot of anti nausea meds… right in the vein. Man, I needed the laugh after having to explain Nail Patella Syndrome and having the doctor tell me, ironically, that maybe I needed to try weed for the pain. Snicker.

Then I made it home with a bottle of gator aide and a cat who wants to eat my corpse if I stopped moving on the couch… and the one cat who defended me. Mistopholes knows where his cat nip comes from. …

So, I am not dead, but I did miss a book release, have not been able to take my pain pills until this week, and have not had a full plate of food as eating makes me ill. They say it should taper off soon and thank goodness. I miss being active and exercising…. I can’t even tell that lie. I miss bacon! OMG I want bacon! All the bacons! And they ate all the bacons while I was ill… sniffle…

Well, I am back now, I am trying to make up missing out on a lot of writing, and sleeping through my birthday.

April 4th… I am now the answer to the meaning of life! LOL I am geeky enough to tell the joke and I know most of you are geeky enough to get it. Long live geeks! LOL

Love you all!

Special announcement coming right after this!

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