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I deleted over one hundred photos today, and I shed a tear.

But they had to go. I had to make room. It had to be done.

I deleted over a one hundred photos today, and it made me sad.

There goes the skyline of France that I probably will never see. But I stored the photo cause it made me happy to imagine that I would… one day.

There goes that photo of batman and the bat can. I kept them cause they made me smile. But… but its been so long since I looked at any of them. I guess those smiles have already been spent.

I got rid of the volcano in the winter, and I recalled the images of fire in snow that one time empowered me. Now its just taking up space, the power already spent.

I got rid of the photos that showed my house the way I wanted it to be, the ship bed in the sky. My kids are too big for that now. The wall to ceiling bookcases that will never be built cause I don’t have the time and can’t spare the expense.

There went the photos of Time magazine with the photo of Martin Luther the King… they are using him as a blunt weapon now. He is not being haled for what he managed to accomplish in the fight for civil rights… now he and his messages are being perverted in gun rights adds and for furthering a strange political agenda that seems to me, that is set out to make me belittle and doubt myself. There goes Rosa Parks too… cause that image of her next to a woman holding a rifle has lost the power to anger me. Its sort of a benign acceptance now. Sad, but its like no one really cares that a scion for peace is being used to peddle guns.

I got rid of the fantasy women, holding broad swords and spears. I once wanted to be like them but as old age and physical deformity sets in, I am grateful that I can just still heft a friggin sword, let alone swash some buckle with it. So they need to go. Not because they remained me of the what I once was or what I could be if I tried, but because the images are branded in my brain. I no longer need the visual reference. Besides, when was the last time you saw a skinny black warrior woman with a sword? I took their essence and I made it mine so the photos, as nice as they are, are no longer needed.

I got rid of those funny little trendy sayings because as funny as it seems, trends change and what I once found ironic or humors now is just trite, so they have to go.

And along with them the adds that made me laugh, the sarcastic comments that used to fall from my lips like wine form a drunkards glass after they finished most of the box… on their own I might add.

With a click of a key, there went the cute little fuzzy pig in rain boots. Why the hell was that here anyway? And with it goes the old lightening struck tree, the owl in a hoodie, dog in a dress and the dancing skeletons in the pumpkin patch. What the hell was I thinking?

I’ll keep the albino lion, it reminds me of Den and I’ll keep the swimming tyger cause it reminds me to keep treading water.

I’ll keep those wonderful photos of Miss Josephine Baker in her leopard spotted best. One day I am going to recreate that costume, and I will keep the period dresses and beadwork. I still have a few one days left in me.

But the photos of abandoned libraries ad buildings being reclaimed by nature, they can go. I am depressed enough watching the laundry reclaim my bedroom. Don’t need another sad reminder of how time slips away.

I got rid of those photos of nebulas and star clusters, and heavenly bodies that used to make me wonder. At one point it was like looking at the fingerprints of God, and I marveled at their perfection. Now they have seemed to have lost quite a bit of sparkle and looks more like God spat them out in an effort to curse what his creations here on earth are doing. That was such a depressing thought that I went to look at more photos of animals being human… and then decided those had to go to. Cats with coffee mugs and baby deer in t-shirts no longer appear cute. More like we tramped over their natural habitat and are forcing them to conform to what we think is cute. Poor animals. I shall keep the ones of them running thought nature, frolicking away from us humans and I will envy them their lifestyle of choice, snicker, while they still have the land to frolic.

So I deleted over a hundred photos today. Good memories and interesting cause really you never have bad memories. Only hard lessons that slapped you upside the head and changed and helped shape the basic you into whoever you happen to be right now.

So I deleted over a hundred photos and I shed over a hundred tears… cause of what was lost, of what could never be, cause I was feeling sorry for myself? I don’t know. I won’t look at it too closely cause this is not the time for retrospection. This is the time for cleaning house. So they all had to go…. except that one of Bruce Lee. That one reminds me of his words and to be water. You can’t stopper or destroy water. It reforms, reshapes, it flows and erodes and that is a damn fine thing. Ever changing and yet changing at all. Be water Stephanie, Be Water.

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