Since everyone has been so patient with my whining…here’s a bit from How Not to Date a Changeling!

 

 

There were no screams that night and Taylor couldn’t help but feel uneasy about it. If what he read in his searches was true, then no one could blame the poor woman from screaming her head off every night.

The next morning found him knocking on Cordelia’s door once more, a gentle soreness in his leg that spoke of rain and a cherry chocolate Bundt cake in hand.

“Nothing good will come of this,” Miss Winnie shouted, hustling past with her dog, both with their noses in the air. “Mark my words, young man! Mark my words!”

Taylor barely resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at the old biddy and instead turned and banged on Cordelia’s door like he was the narc’s trying to make a drug bust.

“Must you?” she snapped, swinging the front door open and stopping Taylor dead.

Today she was… Cordelia was beautiful.

Her long masses of kinky tangled curls flowed free around her face and body, a slim body that was sheathed in white silk that made her skin glow and her eyes pop.

“I must, I must,” he breathed, looking down as his cock gave a lurch toward the vision in white. Now may not be the time for an inappropriate stiffy, but it was more action that he had seen below the belt since his last attempt at masturbation a few days ago. He didn’t expect to see another erection for at least another month. Cool.

“Well now,” she purred and Taylor jerked his head up as he realized that Cordelia’s own gaze had followed his. “Look at what we have here.”

“I brought cake,” he stammered, feeling a slight flush heat his cheeks. It was all he could think tot say and it sounded stupid, but it was way better than having to apologize for the conduct of his spastic dick.

“Did you fuck it first?” she asked and his mouth dropped open. “I mean I have seen some strange reactions to chocolate cake, but if it what gets your motor running….”

She trailed off as she stepped outside and waved him in.

He bet she didn’t know her slip of a dress was see through in the sun, he thought as the golden sun saw fit to grant him an unknown fantasy as he saw Cordelia Snow naked under her clothing.

Her breasts were small and unfettered and as she shifted, he could make out dark colored nipples kissing the bodice of her dress. Her legs were long and lethal, slim but well muscled and he could make out the shadowy cleft between them.

Did she have? … Lord have mercy, she had a muff, a real muff.

So many women shaved everything off that he rarely saw anything resembling pubic hair these days. But it looked like Miss Cordelia had a neat trim patch o pubic hair and he found himself drooling, wanting to burry his face in it. It harkened back to his days of sneaking his foster father’s seventies style porn and watching as those hairy bushed women with their wild Farah Faucet do’s did things with their mouths that would leave most men drooling and most feminists reaching for their picket signs.

“Coming?”

“Faster than I may like,” he muttered as his memories and his reality clashed into one huge silken clad Changeling fantasy named Cordelia.

She arched an eyebrow but shook her head, probably thinking about human stupidity, but he dutifully stepped into her house and watched as she stepped in behind him, closing the door and killing the blessed light that allowed him to see more than what Ms. Snow had probably intended.

“I couldn’t help but notice the lack of screams last night,” he began as they again settled at the table, her pouring him a mug of that rancid tea that stopped the pain in his leg.

“Oh,” she purred and he nearly dropped his mug as realized just how sexy her voice really was. “Then the explosion didn’t kill your hearing.”

“What?” The press of her breasts against the silk fascinated him. Even thought he could no longer see her nipples, he swore there was a shadow of a nip right…

“I may be mistaken.”

He looked up and blinked, absently taking a sip of his tea them blanching as the flavor killed some of his recently absent desire. Damn tea.

“Are you deaf, laddy?”

“No, I can hear perfectly well—and I heard your distinct lack of screaming last night. What gives? I was getting used to the blood curdling screams.”

“Edits are done.”

“Miss Winnie said you were a writer—“

“That nosey bitch?” she snorted, rolling her eyes. “If she read what I wrote, I am sure her processed hair would curl tighter than it already is.”

“That is a pretty neat ‘fro she got going for a white girl,” Taylor chuckled.

“And the rainbow colors,” Cordelia sniffed. “I feel sorry for the dog. It must burn his ass getting it dyed so many colors to math his simpering fool of a mistress.”

“So—edits?”

“I write smut.”

He blinked at that and then grinned, his cock perking up from where the taste of the tea had beaten it back. “Smut? You don’t say?”

“I like to write about what I am not getting.”

“Oh, you could get it if you wanted it,” he pointed out but all amusement stopped with her frown.

“Are you blind?” she snapped, crossing her arms as she glared at him.

“Nope, you are attractive—“

“You took one look at me and knew I wasn’t human.”

“I am not really sure that you aren’t,” he confided. “But that wind thing is kind if proof positive—“

“I’ll not have jokes coming from the likes of you,” she growled, her eyes narrowed into angry glittering jewels.

“I am not joking—“

“If my human parents reacted the way they did when I was in their cradle, what makes you think that adult humans with no real love for me, being powered only by lust would do to something as unnatural as I?”

“But,” he answered. “But you are beautiful.”

“I am not human.”

“But you are beautiful.”

“I am too thin, to long, too oddly formed, Lieutenant Colonel retired. And I refuse to be hurt again.”

“Call me Taylor,” he insisted, placing his mug down in the table and looking her right in the eyes as he spoke his next words. “And you are hot.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and reached for her own mug of tea. She swilled it back like it was a shot whiskey before reaching for the cake that sat on the table. Still holding his gaze, she opened her mouth… wider and wider unnaturally wide until she could shove the whole friggin’ cake in there. Then with one gulp, the cake was gone and her neck distended as the whole thing slid down the slim shaft.

She inhaled once before blinking, a smile tugging at her lips as she dared him to say something.

“That was so fucking hot,” he breathed, making her blink in amazement then look at his crotch for confirmation.

Yup, little Taylor was standing at full salute and waving a bit at her.

She ripped her eyes form his crotch back up to his face as he stared at her in dazed amazement. “No gag reflex, huh?”

“I just swallowed a whole cake, you daft bugger!”

“Without choking,” he purred. “I like that.”

“You are insane!”

“And you write smut—do tell?”

 

***

Taylor knew he was like a kid in a candy store, bouncing all along the walls off Cordelia’s office, but he had never been in the domain of a real writer before.

It was like some kind if magical mystical place, even thought he could see it was only a desk with a computer, a few comfortable chairs, and lots of paper taped to the walls.

“So you create here?”

“Obviously,” Cordelia still hadn’t put on any more clothing and seeing her sit at her desk with her bare feet tucked under her made him want to nibble at her toes.

He didn’t have a foot fetish, but he bet he could get her to squeal and whimper if he teased her just right. The thought of her writing back in her chair, her thighs resting against his neck as he buried his face in her snatch… oh yeah. Erotica was good.

“So… what do you create?”

“I create worlds Lieutenant, worlds greater then the piece of shit one we live in now.”

“I wouldn’t go that far…”

“Did you research what I am?”

“Yes—“

“Then you know what they did to me.”

He nodded.

“And knowing that, how can you say that this world is nothing more than a piece of offal waiting to decompose and hopefully grow something useful when all the pricks on it rot away?”

“Not all of us are asses.”

“True, but you asked me what I create. I create worlds where people who are different can live in peace, where there is always a happy ending, and where anyone can loose themselves for a little time.”

“And the sex. You said you write smut. Why do you write that? I understand the better world thing. I am not in your position, but I feel you on that one. But smut?”

“I write what I want to have, Lieutenant oblivious. And what does that tell you?”

“You want… the fantasy dream lover?”

“No, you ass.” She snapped rolling her eyes before crossing her arms in a huff. I want hot sex.”

“So go and get it!”

“I can’t.” she sounded exasperated and Taylor was really confused. Getting laid was one of the easiest things a woman could do. She only had to point to an unattached male and scream ‘come and get it’, and she would be getting plowed in no time.

“Why not?”

“Because I am ugly and disgusting, and there is nothing that you or anyone else on this fucking planet can do about it.”

“You are not ugly or disgusting,” he pointed to his crotch. “Really. Proof positive.”

“Well, we’ve already proven that you don’t have he sense God gave a goose, haven’t we?”

“I am smart,” he snapped, narrowing his eyes at her. “I have a masters and everything.”

“Then why is it that you can’t see things from my point of view? I am too different, to strange—“
“Exotic,” he offered and smiled when she frowned. That small pout made his dick throb and a small spurt of precum leak from its tip. He absently reached down to adjust himself and eyed her up and down.

“Alien,” she countered.

“Not too alien,” he grinned. “Unless you are hiding tentacles under that robe. But from what I could see from your little display this morning, you aren’t hiding much of anything under there, are you?”

She pouted harder and he felt a steady head grow at the base of his cock. “Just really exotic.”

“I am a curiosity to you,” she snorted. “You had a few brushes with the paranormal and now you want to take one of us for a test drive.”

“Why not?” he asked, stepping closer to her. “You want to take me for a spin.”

“I never—“

“You let me in.”

“You were banging on my door, fit to raise the dead!”

“You haven’t blown me out with your unseen wind.”

“Cause that takes too much energy and I had edits to finish.”

“You are my cake.”

“You irritated me.”

“You want me.”

“I do—“

“You are practically naked right in front of me and you like to see my dick all swollen and hard for want of you.”

She paused, a slight flush covering her cheeks and trailing down her long long neck.

“Nothing to say?”

“I mayhap… have a small curiosity—“

“Oh, so now I am the curiosity? What? You want to try a little human out, see how we compare to whatever you were getting before?”

“Nothing,”

“Pardon me?”

“I was getting nothing before, Lieutenant. I was getting nothing. Who wants to lay with this?”

She stood and allowed her silken dress to slide off her shoulders and pool at her feet as she spun around, her back to him.

And Taylor felt his anger grow anew as he saw the patchwork scaring along her back.

“Hot water,” she spoke as she pulled her hair to one side, offering him the full show. “I remember the hot water. And there were fireplace pokers, all hot. I remember screaming for them to stop, but on one ever did. They were disappointed that no one came for me, for the little changeling child. They wanted their own precious darling back and they beat me, and burned me, and starved me until they were sure my real parents would return their own little one. But it never happened.”

She crossed her arms in front of her, hiding her small breasts as she faced him.

“And they starved me. They said I was too hungry, that I ate too much, that I was starving the rest of them so there were days when I didn’t eat.”

“My God—“

The scaring on her back wrapped around to her chest, dark orange slashes that made up a patchwork quilt of skin that had seen too much damage.

“So they switched me when I cried, my nightmares filled with pain and hunger and heat. They tried to drown me once, but a neighbor told them that if I died, they would never get their own little on e back in return, so they went back to beating me.”

She looked up, her large green eyes calm, not really angry anymore, just resigned.

“And when I grew smarter than them, than their others children, they called it the work of the devil and had priests baptize me. They expected the water to burn, but it did nothing and the priests congratulated them n rearing such a pious young lady. Pious indeed,” she sniffed.

“Then one day, my real parents came back. They told me of what I was and where my counterpart happened to be.” Her lips took on a wry twist as she shook her head. “The little bitch became consort to the fae king and he would not have her returned. But to make up for the abuse, my real parents slaughtered the ones who reared me and sent me packing here to America, as they needed only one daughter. And here I stayed, making my way with the gold they gave, knowing that I was too different, to alien, to odd to ever be taken seriously.”

“They are fools,” Taylor snapped, stepping close to her, wrapping her warm body in his arms. That she topped him by an inch made no difference. She felt small and delicate in his arms and he wanted her now more than ever.

“I dated a few times, and that always ended in disaster, Lieutenant. I am great to date as an oddity, but no one really wants the girl. So I create worlds where the girl gets what she wants. I create the hot sex that I have never had. I crate a place where I can loose myself… and then you had to come along.”

She stiffened in his arms and Taylor eased back. “Me?”

“You with your chocolate and your sexy body—“

“Sexy? Are you blind now?” he snorted, releasing her fully and stepping back to peer into her face. “I am covered in scars and quite a few nightmares of their own. I am sure the woman of my dreams would love to wake up being strangled by me in a trauma related night terror. And lets not forget my sexy legs. I am sure any woman will get erotic bliss out of a finicky dick and muscle spasms. I look dead sexy when I flop on the floor trying to reach my drugs before I curl up in a ball of weeping pain. Really manly, that.”

“You don’t know—“

“Know that I have just about cashed in my ticket for the happiness train? Yeah, I know that, Ms. Snow. I know that my girl took one look at the mess of my leg and decided that she wasn’t taking care of an invalid and moved on to greener pastures. I know that my night screaming and maybe the time I knocked her across the room while trapped in a nightmare may have had helped her decision along a little. You are looking at a cripple, lady, one guaranteed never to have a normal life again. Tell me what woman would want that?”

“Me.”

He froze, tossing off the last of his momentary self-hatred, and stared into her serious green eyes. Yup, she meant her uttered word and he could feel the her confidence in her answer blaze into his brain as she reached up and ran a curious finger over his face. Then she repeated herself. “Me.”

The Taylor Martin said the only thing he could, the only thing that made sense at the moment.

“Oh.”

 

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