Ooookay. I got a frantic phone call around 5 this morning. One of my bestest friends contacted me. Her Hubby is very ill, passed out on the toilet, and broke the tank.

When he came too, he cleaned up best he could and woke her up. She said she would fix it, and then noticed the slaughter.

So, early this morning, we were off to the Home Depot to replace the tank and if not the whole toilet. We stopped where I was treated to a nice breakfast sandwich and coffee. WOO HOO!

We would up having to replace the whole toilet. This is an easy fix as long as you have the equipment. We thought we did.

But first, I slashed my finger open in two places with the porcelain from the tank. I think I found the most perfect murder weapon, sharp and deadly, cleans up easily and can me crushed into so much dust and sprinkled around a beach to get rid of it. It is so sharp in fact, that I didn’t know I cut myself until I my hands started slipping in the blood during the all important bolt removal process.

Two bleed through band aids, and I mean the good ones, a rubber glove was applied to the affected hand and toilet remove carried on.

Broken pieces were removed, the new toiled uncrated in pieces, the old one and the busted tank placed very very carefully inside, and the new wax ring and toilet installed! Success! It was perfect! It was the most  beautiful porcelain throne ever…

Unfortunately, we didn’t have a flex pipe to attach the water line to the toilet. I didn’t even think about getting one when we got the new toilet. I just assumed the old one was flex. Stupid me! And I was thinking about it too! I looked at the flex pipes, I smiled at the price, and then I moved on! ARGH!

Back to the store were we got the pipe and a few other things that were on sale, and then back to the toilet and the stupid stupid pipe. And then the stupid stupid pope got revenge. The nut holding it onto the the friggin water supply would not move. We twisted, we took turns tugging, we screamed softly (her DH is still sick) and we cut up our hands. We even banged ourselves against the newly installed perfect toilet (Wished we knew about the stuck nut before we installed the new toilet)  but the ^%^@*^$ thing wouldn’t move.

Back to another store for WD40! CVS wanted 7 bucks for a small can of the shit! So… we ran across 4 lanes of traffic to the Family Dollar and got the same can for 3 bucks.

And then the nut came off with minimal blood on the new toilet.

And them my coffee was tossed into the garbage by accident.

And then the breakfast sandwich I was supposed to eat was forgotten and too cold to consume. And then my friend took me to lunch were we licked our wounds and prayed that the next fix would involve less blood shed.

three hours, two trips to the home depot, one fruitless trip to CVS so it don’t count, one trip to the family Dollar, a morning spent wet and cold (I am not even getting into how we had to haul buckets of water from the neighbors house cause her shut off valve for the upstairs WC didn’t;t work and we had to shut off the water suppl to the whole house)—-

the cost—one back ache and one hard typing hand (at least its the middle finger that is tapped up to hell and gone, especially to drivers who almost hit me while talking on cell phones) and some minor blood shed.

Being a true friend *(and cleaning up—touching toilet water) when the chips are down because actions will always speak louder than any words or gifts– priceless.

And then the mail came……WAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Not getting into it! Not getting into that! Not getting into that!!!!!

Flash

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