A Happy Effin Valentine

A Happy Effin Valentine

Wild Wishes
Loose Id

eBook ISBN: 978-1-59632-430-5
eBook Price: $7.99
eBook Length: Anthology – Novel
Print ISBN: 978-1-59632-026-0
Print Price: $12.99
Print Length: 365 pages
Genre: Interracial Paranormal
Cover Art: April Martinez

A Happy Effin Valentine by Stephanie Burke
Effin had nothing but bad luck and misery until that pretty kitty passed her way. Suddenly bad dates, bad clothes, worse sisters were a thing of the past. To add to her change in fortune, it turned out that her new cat was actually a lucky, lusty shape-shifting Neko. But could she believe in the staying power of her luck and her sexy lucky charm?

Into Temptation by Lena Matthews
Themed parties are never a good idea, especially when they incur the wrath of a God.

All Billie Fowler wanted to do was spend a little extra time with her office crush, Tomas Mendez. And if it was after hours at a party, where she could wear a little slinky number, even better…or so she thought. The notion that a small Anti-Valentine Day’s party might turn into the craziest night of her life never entered her mind, but on the other hand, she had never been on Cupid’s bad side before.

Tired of being cast in the role of ‘just friends’ with Billie, Tomas couldn’t resist the opportunity to spend the day of love with the woman he’d fallen for. However, Tomas hadn’t counted on Cupid showing up and turning one misspoken wish into reality.

Now under a spell, Billie and Tomas are locked on a sensual roller coaster that’s been engineered by a sulking love deity who’s gone missing. Giving into temptation might be their only saving grace …but then again, so might love.

Tag’s Folly by Eve Vaughn
Nothing makes Dr. Taggert Webster wearier then the two words “love” and “marriage.” Having grown up in an environment where “marriage” meant “the time before divorce” and “love” meant nothing, he wants to avoid them both. Unfortunately, his live-in lover Alex doesn’t share his opinion. Her need for his love and a deeper commitment is driving a wedge between them and ruining what he considers a perfect relationship.

During a heated argument, Tag mutters, “I wish you’d leave me alone…” And soon discovers the true meaning of the words “be careful what you wish for.” Not only does Alex leave his life for good, she doesn’t remember their past year together. With Alex gone Tag realizes his folly; he’s loved her all along.

Little does Tag know that Psyche granted him a wish in exchange for saving her life. Now they’re both in hot water. With her help, Tag must get Alex to remember what they’d shared before Valentine’s Day or the wish will become permanent.

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Excerpt

Masataka was not having a very good century.

He mewed, lifting one leg and eyeing his scrotum carefully. Nope, didn’t need a tongue bath yet, he decided, lowering the leg, nose still twitching at the unfairness of his life. The only good thing about being stuck in this form was easy access to his balls. If he were in human form, he would never be able to twist his spine to essentially blow himself.

Of course, if he were in human form, he could find someone to do it for him.

But he was not in human form and it was all because of that bitch — and he meant that literally — who had ridden his cock like getting him off would save her life.

How was he to know that that luscious kitsune was already mated? She was the one to openly flirt with him .

How was he to know that it was her wedding day? Or that her chosen mate was a nine-tailed kitsune of great distinction?

The female fox-shifter had just smiled at him, licking her chops as her mate busted into the room, his bi — his glowing foxfire power — leading him directly to his mate and pulling her off him on the down stroke.

“One final bit of mischief,” she explained to her irate mate, “before I settle down.”

That was all well and good for her, Masataka had groused as she walked out of the room, but that left him with old Nine-tails to deal with.

“Look,” Masataka tried to explain as he pulled the rumpled den sheets over his naked lap. His prick still stood erect and shiny, a testament to how well the female kitsune was getting off on her little ride. “I didn’t know she was taken.”

Twitching his nose, his eyes glowing in extreme anger, the thousand-year-old shifter pointed to the window behind Masataka’s bed.

“Oh,” Masa managed, blinking dumbly at what he saw. Despite the gently falling rain, the sun was shining brightly, the ancient sign that a female kitsune was getting ready for her wedding march. “I guess I never noticed,” he muttered absently. “I mean, she followed me back here last night and we’ve been going at it since yesterday.”

Masa smiled as he thought of the pale red head of the female kitsune, bobbing up and down in his lap as he held onto the bed sheets and prayed that his head wouldn’t explode.

A stupid grin spread across his face as he wiggled his ass in remembrance.

“I mean,” he continued, “have you ever seen such a fine ass on a female? Full and round, and high and tight — an unusual thing in Asian women. Though I guess that she’s not really Asian,” Masa reasoned out loud. “I guess this means that she can take on any shape she wants …” His word trailed off as he took in the seriously pissed off look on the ancient kitsune’s face. “Oh, dear.” He slumped in his bed. “I should have guessed she was a kitsune when she swallowed my dick, fingered my balls, vibrated her neck muscles, and threw up that ball of light so I could see her work, huh?” Somehow this didn’t make the nine-tailed fox-shifter smile. “This is going to cost me, isn’t it?” The still silent fox-shifter nodded. “This is going to hurt me more than it could ever hurt you?” Again the fox-shifter nodded. “And I’m seriously not going to like it, am I?”

“It’s not all your fault.” The deep, rumbling voice of the elder fox-shifter radiated power. “Though if you paid a bit more attention to your surroundings, neko, this would have never happened.”

“I am seriously regretting letting myself get picked up at that tavern,” Masataka added, hoping that his ignorance would grant him a small reprieve.

No such luck, he realized as the fox glared at him.

“As a cat-shifter, you should be more observant. That is the one great trick of the neko that is unsurpassed by any other shifter. But I am thinking that maybe you are spending too much time in human form. It’s dulling your catlike abilities. So, in order to help you, I am going to ensure that you get lots of time to work on your shortcomings.”

As he spoke, a definite powerful glow began to surround him.

“You need to spend some time getting to know yourself better. And to do that, you really need to be in your cat form.”

He waved his hand and a huge ball of brilliant white light formed before the ancient kitsune.

Masataka opened his mouth to speak, but the ball slammed into his chest, spreading fire throughout his system, forcing his body to transform. In the blink of an eye, Masataka’s whole perception shrank and suddenly the world became a much larger place.

He opened his mouth to speak, but only a pitiful mew emerged.

“You are … cute like this.” The kitsune chuckled as he stared at the small black cat who stared up at him with owlish amber eyes. “And to make sure you get lots of practice at being observant, I’m sending you to a place where no one will recognize you for what you are and try to take you in. Cat form you are, and in cat form you shall remain until you learn to be more observant and you use that to make someone wish for you to stay.”

Masa screeched his disapproval and the kitsune laughed further. “You, my hapless friend, are going to America.”

With his screech of denial still ringing in his ears, Masataka found himself flying through time and space to end up … in the lower section of Baltimore, Maryland. And for roughly a hundred years, here he remained, watching and observing the humans who were so different from the humans that populated his native Japan.

For the first few years, he hung around, picking up the language and learning culture. The next years were spent fighting off normal cats and animals, creating and marking his territory, and ensuring his safety.

After that, he spent his time observing these people and their strange ways.

And he discovered something about himself, too.

He was an ass man.

Kami, he loved a phat ass on a woman. Not a flabby or an out-of-shape one, but an ass that was round and high and tight, and partially the reason he was in this predicament in the first place.

Oh, he still hoped that fucking bitch of a kitsune gave her mate rabies or some other form of social disease. But after the amount of time he had spent in the US, his anger had faded dramatically.

Besides, here in this wonderfully liberated place, he got to experience a whole new class of ass.

There were the wide-hipped and curved at the bottom ass of most white women. In a way, it was similar to the Asian women he was used to. Then, there were women from India who had wide asses that were slightly rounded, but were hidden beneath the layers of clothing they wore. Native American women were few and far between here, but the few he managed to scope out had fine asses, both wide and full, but not that high. Latino women … Kami, he loved them because their asses were wide, full, and high. And the way they danced, hips winding, asses jiggling … Latino women knew how to work their hips. But that brought him to his most favored of asses, the black woman’s ass.

They were round, high, tight, and full. They came in several shades and textures, and most came with the ability to do the most wonderful ass-jiggling dance moves he had ever seen.

They got low with it!

They shook it like salt and pepper shakers!

They worked that back, made that ass jiggle, ground it down and bumped that ass all around.

The sight of a well turned ass doing the butt jiggling dance of the hour made him retreat to the safety of his territory and lick like his dick was going out of style.

He loved asses of every ethnic group, savored the sight of each one, and relished each for their individual attributes and characteristics and style, but the asses of the black women were top among his favorites.

He studied women, observed their mannerisms, learned what turned them on and what turned them off. He was confident that he observed them so much, he could happily choose his mate from the selection this city offered alone.

Now, if only he could get out of this cursed cat form!

He had been licking himself for a hundred years and never really got any relief. He imagined when he turned human again he would have one grandiose case of blue balls.

He shuddered at that thought and shook himself out of his musings. He had things to do.

There was territory to defend, balls to lick, and asses to observe.

Being a cat wasn’t all that bad, but damn, he sure missed pussy.

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Reviews

4.5 Hearts!
“…one hilarious, erotic book that I’m sure readers will enjoy. There was never a dull moment within the tale. I was either bowing over with laughter, cringing at Effin’s bad luck, or caught up in the blazing-hot, passionate sexual encounters between Effin and Masa.” ~ Contessa, The Romance Studio

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